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Sunday, April 10th, 2005
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10:39 pm - another amazing weekend
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yeah so this weekend was another amazing weekend. Spent more money then I should but it was soooo worth the wait. But this weekend also had its downers. Today (sunday) I went to the grand prix in long beach, so freaking awesome! I loved it! we missed the drifting (damn) which I REALLY wanted to see, BUT the main event made up for it. Afterwards we (brady, bell, chris and I) went to koffee klutch and has smoothies. Ww were laying on the lounges and this guy says "move bitch" to brady. Well he turned out to be gay haha and chris has this full on converstaion, well the cool thing was I found out we are seeing each other =] I couldnt have been happier.
After that Brady and Belle dropped us off at their house to pick up chris's car. We came back to my house to take a nap with I called to see where my parents where... sadly my grandma told me my great uncle died. I think its just hitting me now. And I am really sad about it, even though I didnt get to talk to him often or see him often its put a weight on me. Its hard to lose two people in less then a year. What I was really thankful was that Chris was there to comfort me, and it made a huge difference, its amazing what a little comfort can do. I dont think he knows how much that really ment to me. I should let him know. I am really going to miss uncle Derwood. He was a good man. And always seemed interested in my life when we talked. he was so kind. Reminded me a lot of Papa.
After that I couldnt really take a nap so we got ready and went to sunnys, oh yummy. And now he just left I have the hugest smile on my face. mmmmmmm I cant wait for nextweekend. who knows whats next.
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| Tuesday, April 5th, 2005
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11:02 pm
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so last sunday (the 3rd) was my bday, and I have to say it was the best ever, so amazing, only wish we could have met up with brady and belle, but nnoooooo their phone was on silent! punks. i really hope and think it was the begining of great things to come, its like I can feel it deep inside... there was only one person missing, and I hope he knows, where ever he is I miss him more then life itself.
Oh yeah, brady and belle took me to a new coffee shop in laguna, omg the best drinks and felt like I was in gypsy lounge or something, totally cool, i think its my new favorite place, screw starbucks.
haha I think koko fell in love with chris, its so cute.
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| Tuesday, March 15th, 2005
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1:22 am
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totally awesome, I was at the harbor with nina tonight, and I saw giant squid! IT WAS FREAKING AWESOME! almost even touched one. I hope they are there again tomorrow night.
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| Monday, March 14th, 2005
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10:18 am - another papa dream...
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You would think after time goes by, dealing with papas death would become easier. Well it doesn't. As of late, it seems just as fresh as the day he died, maybe even harder. Seeing someone die is one of the hardest things you can experience. Last night i had a dream about him, a really strange dream. They had found Papa, saying he really ran off to marry some lady but he was coming home to reunite with us. I thought this isn't right the whole time, something just isn't right. He showed up and it wasn't really Papa, he was frail and his skin looked gray and he didn't talk. Everyone was crowded around him, so I stood back and waved at first. Then he came up to me. I don't think I have ever hugged anyone like I hugged him, and that smile of his, something I could never forget, even when i'm dreaming. He looked at me, like as if to ask me something. His eyes were faded, like he was weak. Then I knew that he wasn't really suppose to be there, that it was taking up so much energy to do so. I told him how much I missed and loved him, that I have been thinking of him everyday sense he died. I told him that im graduating, his face just lit up and he started to cry. From there we were walking, I was on one side of him while judy was on the other. He did something he always tried to do, give me money in a discreet way. It cracked me up. As we walked the dream started to fade. I cant write or think about him without crying, I guess this is when i wish I knew what comes after this life.
current mood:  melancholy
current music: the birdies outside my window
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| Sunday, January 2nd, 2005
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8:33 pm - tomorrows to do list
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Week 1 - 3 portfolio work
adigitalmemory.com video page (research and apply)
longs site (finish)
email Xtine link
Upload all portfolio work
email Geroge
take mlp pictures
finish duncans page
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| Wednesday, December 29th, 2004
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1:28 am
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guys are freaking stupid, like hard headed in my own little world stupid. Hello wake up and smell the world...
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| Tuesday, December 28th, 2004
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5:44 pm - Dream about Papa
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Last night I had this strange dream that papa was in. It was back at my old house, my family was having a get together, it was the same setting at my 16th birthday party. I walked in, but I wasn't suppose to be there, like I had traveled back in time to see Papa again. I walked through the front door and into the kitchen, and out the sliding door I saw Papa standing in the same shirt he wore that day.
I ran up to him crying and crying. I gave the biggest hug. I held him so tight. He kept asking me what was wrong, and I replied with "I cant tell you, but I love you Papa I love you so much. I wish I could tell you". Its like something told me I couldn't mess with the past, things happen they way they are suppose to. My face was pressed against his shoulder and I could smell him, just the way he smelt like in real life.
I tore myself away from him and ran up to my old room. On a little piece of paper I wrote "I didn't tell him", as if it was a note for me or someone to find later on. I knew I couldn't stay anylonger and forced myself to leave.
I woke up this morning confused. I have kept wishing for the last few weeks that I could hug him one last time, and feel him hugging me back... and it feels like that wish has been fulfilled. I mean I have dreamed about things that I wished for before, but never felt like this after. I just don't know how to explain it, it was like he was really in my dream.
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| Tuesday, August 3rd, 2004
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12:43 am - Goodbye Papa
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Its been a week, and this void seems to be endless. I miss Papa more then words can describe. It doesn't seem fair I lost two so close to me in a week of each other, like some cruel joke that I just don't see the humor in. Life has a strange way of teaching everyone lessons, even though you can't why something happens for a reason.
I will miss him for the rest of my life. He meant so much to me. I still can't believe your gone Papa, and even though your ashes lay in your house, your not there to hug, to talk to, or to simply I have a secret. You were wiped away in a flash, with no warning you were gone. Now all I can do is find solitude in my sorrow. You meant the world to me Papa, I looked up to you so. Your really gone now arnt you? Into the eternal world I can not reach. I wish to see you again.
Everyone wishes to see a departed loved one, one last time, and I know its not possible. But I can still ask myself why your really gone, and find no valid answer why. I can only tell myself I will see you again one day, after I turn old and gray and my time is up. But for now that seems an eternity away.
You now live on through those who love you, through those you miss you, and I still wish for a small sign. A sign that you can hear me, a sign that you know how much you really mean to me. Will it ever come? I pray it does. Live without you is just not the same, and I doubt that it will ever be. There will always be a empty place in my life that you occupied.
I love you Papa, and one day, I will see you again.
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| Monday, August 2nd, 2004
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4:21 pm
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| Wednesday, July 21st, 2004
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3:19 pm
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| Tuesday, July 20th, 2004
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6:22 pm - sad, sad day
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Sunday was one of the worst days in my life. Kona had his surgery on the 13th, I had a bad feeling about it the whole time, but he made it through. He was find for about four days, eating and drinking just fine, and acting normal. Well Sunday I get back from shaunas and he isnt Kona at all, everything that should be pink was blue. I took his cage and ran down the stairs to my car then got in and drove off to the vet (not the one who did the surgery).
I was stopped at the light to get on the freeway and he wasnt doing good at all. I said "Im not going to let you die in that cage" and took him out and set him on my lap. I kept petting him and telling how much I loved him and was praying he wouldnt die on me.
I was about halfway to the vet when he started to go through spasms and on the last one he was gone. I cried all the way to the vet and still kept petting him. This beautiful brown eyes were now empty, I could hardly bare it. I tried to whip away my tears before walking into the vet, but once I started to talk to the receptionist I couldn't hold it in at all.
It was so hard to let them take his limp little body way from me, I didnt want to let go. He was such a good rabbit and I know he loved me as much as I loved him. After I paid for his body to be cremated I drove home with more tears. I couldn't believe he was gone, he just couldn't be.
I walk out to my back yard and keep thinking I will see him hop up to me and chase me around like he always would. I walk up the stairs and see his empty cage and cant help but cry.
Today I had Loki out side and started to clean his cage. As I was emptying the soiled litter into the trash Loki came running up to me at full speed and looked so much like Kona I had to put the bottom of the cage down and sunk to the floor crying. I sat there for about 10 min before I could continue what I was doing, and I didnt do it very well. Thats when I came to write this.
Kona will always be in my heart, even know he was a little rabbit, he was a part of me, and I will alway love him. I found a clump of his hair, and put it in a little pouch. I dont think ill ever have a bunny like Kona, he was really one of a kind, a special little rabbit. And I cant still help but cry.
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Wednesday, July 14th, 2004
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1:33 pm - not bad...
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11:27 am
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Arg so many bunny problems lately! First my dad leaves Loki out in the sun (he didnt mean to) and the poor lil guy had head stroke with a temp of 107.5, well I took him to the vet in time and now hes fine =] Thats twice now he came close to death! Then Kona decided to antagonize the boys out in the hutch and they somehow got out and kicked Konas ass... thats another $100 vet bill. But now hes neutered so maybe it was a good thing, but the poor lil guy seems like he's in pain and just lays there all day, and has a dish around his head.
Some fucking dumbass retarded called pizza hut and ordered a pizza under my number and address... gee I wonder who's retarded and stupid enough to do that... my goodness.
Something nathan said to me yesterday is kinda bothering me (im allowed to write it here, this is my journal after all) im not really worried about it, but its bothering, kind of like this though that just does not want to go away. It sort has has me second guessing myself... *sigh* everything seemed like it was almost to good to be true. Also he has said a few mean things which I think made what I was talking above worse. Not sure how to take all of this.
lol I think Kona hates me now, awwww I so sorry Kona but it was for your own good.
current mood:  annoyed
current music: Figured You Out
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| Thursday, January 15th, 2004
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8:31 pm - Job Huntin
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Ok Eric at school was saying the best way to find a web job is to discover my interest and go from there, so here I go:
Fashion
Cosmetics
Interior Design
Toys
Rabbits
Horses
Magazines
Books
Shopping
Art
Entertainment
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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| Monday, October 6th, 2003
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9:30 am - Books Wanted
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The Honest Courtesan: Veronica Franco, Citizen and Writer in Sixteenth-Century Venice (Women in Culture and Society)
Veronica, meretrice e scrittora
Lettere by Veronica Franco
Risqué Beauty: Beauty Secrets of History's Most Notorious Courtesans
by Daniela Turudich
A History of Venice by John Julius Norwich (Paperback)
Plucked, Shaved & Braided: Medieval and Renaissance Beauty and Grooming Practices 1000-1600 by Daniela Turudich, Laurie J. Welch (Paperback)
Marriage Wars in Late Renaissance Venice (Studies in the History of Sexuality) by Joanne Marie Ferraro (Paperback)
Gaspara Stampa: Selected Poems
by Gaspara Stampa, Laura Anna Stortoni (Editor), Mary Prentice Lillie (Editor)
Women Poets of the Italian Renaissance by Laura Anna Stortoni (Editor), Mary Prentice Lillie (Editor)
Grandes Horizontales
by Virginia Rounding (Author)
The Seven Ages of Paris
by Alistair Horne (Preface), Maurice Druon
The Lord of the Rings (Leatherette Collector's Edition)
by J. R. R. Tolkien
The Hobbit (Leatherette Collector's Edition)
by J. R. R. Tolkien
A Perfect Day
by Richard Paul Evans
Ola: The Courtesan's Daughter
by Jewel E. Dearman (Hardcover - July 2002)
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(comment on this)
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9:30 am - DVD's/VHS Wanted
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Nicholas Nickleby (2002 ASIN: B00005RIWX)
Nicholas Nickleby (2002 ASIN: B00009MEJ4)
The Life and Adventures of Nicholas Nickleby (1981 B000068QOG)
Daniel Deronda (2002 ASIN: B0000897EC)
Vanity Fair (1999 ASIN: B000089QEN)
Tess of the D'Urbervilles (1998 ASIN: B000089QEM)
Berkeley Square (1998 ASIN: B00004W5P5 )
Wives and Daughters (1999 ASIN: B000059H6T)
Persuasion (1995 ASIN: B00003JRCQ)
Pride and Prejudice - The Special Edition (1996 ASIN: B00005MP58)
Sense and Sensibility (1995 ASIN: 0800141660)
The Tenant of Wildfell Hall (1997 ASIN: B00004WGBE)
Lorna Doone (2001 ASIN: B00005B1VM)
Aristocrats (1999 ASIN: B00004WGBT)
The Buccaneers (1995 ASIN: B00004WGBJ)
Solomon & Gaenor (1999 ASIN: B000051YMO)
The Triumph of Love (2001 ASIN: B00006JE4X)
The Emperor's New Clothes (2001 ASIN: B00006RCN9)
Duel of Hearts (1992 ASIN: 6302481716 )
The Count of Monte Cristo (2002 ASIN: B00006ADFM)
Jane Eyre (1997 ASIN: 0767020294)
Firelight (1998 ASIN: 6305268843)
Swept From The Sea (1998 ASIN: 080012412X)
David Copperfield (2000 ASIN: B00006HAZG)
Dangerous Beauty (1998 ASIN: 6305078319)
Dangerous Liaisons (1988 ASIN: 6304696515)
The Age of Innocence (1993 ASIN: B00003CX8S)
The Remains of the Day (Special Edition) (1993 ASIN: B00003CXC9)
Valmont (1989 ASIN: B000069I02)
The Lord of the Rings - The Two Towers (Platinum Series Special Extended Edition Collector's Gift Set) (2002)
The Lord of the Rings - The Fellowship of the Ring (Platinum Series Special Extended Edition) (2001)
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(comment on this)
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| Tuesday, September 16th, 2003
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1:52 pm - sites
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Does anyone know of any fakie sites? or mlp sites that have fakies listed?
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(comment on this)
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| Wednesday, September 10th, 2003
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11:57 am - Oh Gosh
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Oh my gosh what a morning. First of all it was a total waist of my time to come to school, we did shit in class. We sat there while the teacher tried to do god know what on a freaking cart computer. Umm can we say refund. But the good thing is I designed a logo for mistyautumn.com:
http://www.mistyautumn.com/cip.gif
But cant decide which one I like best.
Then everything was going good. Fixed my classes and then I walked out to my car and thats where it all starts, I left my lights on and then locked my damn keys in my car, how much of a lame brain can I get for one day.
AND IM HUNGRY! Damn Damn Damn.
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(comment on this)
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| Wednesday, September 3rd, 2003
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8:51 pm
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| Sunday, April 27th, 2003
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9:26 pm - newest custom
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ok well i didn't know what to do with this pony at first. She was a custom I bought on ebay but wasn't really happy with. So I painted her white and pondered on her for a while. Then while surfing through mlp links I saw a baby graffiti, so I left this pony white and made a mom graffiti. Now I don't have baby graffiti so I went by the pictures.
*pictures have been taken down*
Misty
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